I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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