eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
