dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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