bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
