I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
