did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
