I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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