I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
