I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize