speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize