Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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