I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
