Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
