what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
