dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
