My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
