so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
No more Irish car bombs ever.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
