I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
