I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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