So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
