I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
