and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
