is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
