If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
