We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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