Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
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