i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize