Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize