Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
