that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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