Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize