why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
