we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize