whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
