i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
