Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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