he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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