Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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