just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
