Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
