Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
