I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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