I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
