Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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