Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize