She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
