i think i have herpe
just one?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
