walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
