I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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