awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
