but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
