we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
