You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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