I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
