Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
