By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
