how can u be prego again
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
