So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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