i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm both gender and math confused
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
