She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
