My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
