no, he came in my armpit
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
