last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
