Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
