I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
