Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
