...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Randomize
