it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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