I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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