Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
